In the news this week was a report that household shops have seen a decline in the number of table knives sold compared to the number of forks. In years gone by, the British people would always buy their cutlery in a pair, and knife and fork.
Table manners stated that you must use both a knife and a fork, the fork being held in the left hand, no elbows on tables please. This was all very proper, and symbolised everything that was great about Great Britain.
However, the shocking fact is, in the 21st Century, us Brits are snubbing the knife, and making do with just a fork. And to make matters worse, some people have been spotted holding the fork IN THEIR RIGHT HAND!!!!
As more people eat ready meals, stews, curries, stir-frys and pasta dishes, we no longer need a knife. Also, when sitting on a sofa with a plate of food in your hand, only one item of cutlery can be wielded at any one time. And it is not proper to put your knife in your mouth.
Ed Watson, spokesperson for Retailer Debenhams was the one that kindly pointed out to us how barbaric we have become.
“Bad table manners can turn an enjoyable meal into an embarrassment. Using both a knife and a fork to eat has held this country in good stead for centuries – it’s one of the mainstays of being British. It’s all about maintaining standards, so we want to act now before the single fork habit becomes ingrained in the next generation.” Ed Watson, a true Brit.
Funny, as the people of England, sorry Britain, are always asking “who are we? have we lost our identity?”. It seems that we always had an identity, we just forgot what it was. It was holding 2 pieces of Sheffield steel while eating our pork chops.
Anyway, do we care? No. Of course not. Because you do not need either knife or fork to eat a burger.